I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I feel 15 years old again. I used to be able to tangle words together so well. I had so much angst and I was no naive. I’ve tasted too much reality these days. The holidays are soon. I used to be able to find such a deep meaning within each and every one. But now, I draw nothing but blanks. I feel myself growing up, and I’m not sure if this is what I ever really wanted. I don’t think it’s really what is cracked up to be. I guess when they say to be careful what you wish for, they mean it. I recall my 15th birthday, wishing to be 17 or older. And now? I will be 17 this coming Sunday, the 21st of November. I feel so lethargic lately. I feel as if there is something missing in my life. And what strikes me, is that this boy seems to be filling that empty space within me. I don’t quite know if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet. But I could survive on our early morning coffees and naked nights until the day that I die.
